QUESTION

Assalamualaikum,

I Am 22 years old currently in KL. I am unsure about something that going on with my life. I personally feel like its totally against islam. Hope that anyone could give me a proper answer for my question.

I was in love with a guy from India. When we both decided to open up this matter to my parents in proper way, they both agreed for us to get married. Soon, there were some misunderstanding between my parents and us. They didn’t agree for us to get married since a friend of him were against our marriage. He literally brainwashed my parents for not getting us married. I was trying my best to explain to my parents that what they are doing was wrong but they never give me a chance for me to explain further.

I was in depression because i didn’t have anyone to help me out. So I remain in silence, didn’t mingle with any of my family members. My parents notice this and started to force and threatened me to forget him. They brought some muslim monk to give me a flower bath with some rituals and all. I don’t usually believe on this flower bath and rituals. After this matter happens, I still remain the same (as i said i don’t believe on this things will work).

Soon, last week Thursday I receive a call from a friend of my mother (non-muslim) saying that i have to come to her place to do flower worship to their God because she prayed for me to get a better job than my previous one. I was refusing to go because I believe that i got a job firstly because my doa to Allah swt and from my talent while attending the interview. The friend of my mom was forcing me even when i said i couldn’t make it because i have job to do on that day.

Soon, somehow last Saturday I went there not because I wanted to do flower worship but just to keep them away from me next time. But what happen there was really shocking for me. My parents and my mother’s friend make me sit in front of her hinduism God and started to recite Hinduism rituals to me just to make me forget the guy whom i love and to listen to my parents. They did so many things such as Mandrem’s and all pooja (Worship) to me and for me. They force me to eat and ask help to they god. Astagfirullah al azim each time i said inside my heart, I cried. I refused,but they forced. I respect my parents because in Islam it says that a child has to listen and respect their parents even though they hurt me. But what they did to me is not fair and totally against islam.

I believe this falls under shirk. When I explain this the next day to my parents they were still wanted to go and meet the hindu monk. My question is, are these things falls under shirk? What shall I do to stay away from this things to happen again? Is this the correct way to tell your child to forget a guy whom she was in love? If you could give me an answer for this it will be very helpful. In sha Allah may Allah swt bless us all..

Thank you in advance.

ANSWERS

Wa alaikum Salam Sister,

We pray that Allah s.w.t protect from all difficulties, trials and tribulations. It is sad to hear what you went through .

Firstly It is important and incumbent upon you to abstain from all forms of rituals that you stated in the question especially in worship of idols or reciting any lines of its prayers. This is certainly an act of associating partners to Allah (Shirk).

Secondly, it is not permissible (haram) for a muslim to meet a non-muslim monk in regards to spiritual healing as this too can fall under shirk to Allah. As for the flower bath from the muslim man, it is better for you to avoid.

It is important for you also to keep good muslim company to strengthen your faith.

Worshipping idols is shirk as it is considered to be the worst sin that a person commit. You also have to understand that obedience towards parents are only towards acts that are permissible in Islam and not the forbidden ones. In this case, what your parents did was a very sinful act that is to ask help from the hindu God. There can be no obedience to anyone in committing shirk to almighty Allah.

I advise you to be steadfast in your faith and pray to Allah alone to solve your problems in life. Guard your prayers and other obligations and at the same time, find someone who is religious and smart to try to talk to your parents about the misunderstanding that they have. Otherwise, You can get married to the person whom you love if he is a muslim and suitable. You have to explain to the muslim court if your father do not agree to marry you off.

May Allah bless you.

Wassalam,
Ustaz Anwar Hussain